


Maybe I Do

by killians-dashingrescue (caroc25)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan AU - Freeform, Childhood Friends, F/M, Modern AU, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-12-08
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:04:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caroc25/pseuds/killians-dashingrescue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma and Killian are childhood friends, and they have been living together for the past couple of years. WIll their relationship stay the same or evolve into something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Childhood/roommate AU
> 
> I was trying to update some of my others multi-chapter fic, but this idea wouldn’t leave me alone so I just had to write it. It’s not the most orignal idea, and it’s probably already had been done. And I already wrote a roommate fic (Something Good) and a childhood fic (Never Let Me Go), but I just couldn’t help myself.
> 
> Thanks to Nicki ( oncertwice ), for being amazing and accepting to beta yet again another of my stories!
> 
> This will only be 3 parts, since I don’t want to get myself into another long story

She has been turning around in her bed for the past hour, cursing at herself for being awake this early. It was Saturday morning for crying out loud, she should be sleeping until noon. Emma had no such luck since her circadian rythym apparently decided that the second the light seeped through her curtains it was time to wake up.

She heard some noise coming out from the living room, a couple of minutes followed by the sound of the television being turned on. Probably her insomniac roommate tired of turning around in his bed without being able to sleep. Turning her head to the side she looked at her alarm clock, and saw that it was almost seven in the morning. Deciding that she couldn’t stay in bed anymore, since she couldn’t find a comfortable position to lie on, she got up, and grabbed her robe that was hanging on the back of her desk chair. Slipping her cold feets into her slippers and left the warmth of her room, and walked into the cold air of her appartment and walked towards the living room to join her roommate.

Killian was slouched on the two place couch, wearing only his boxers and his usual used Nirvana shirt with the yellow smiley face. He had one bare foot on the cold wood floor, and the other was streched out on the couch. His hair was tussled, and his eyes were half open, as they were fixed on the television, watching some cartoons. Emma walked over him and nudge his leg with her knee so he would give her some space. He lifted his leg long enough so she could sit and dropped it on her lap the moment she settled herself.

 

“Are you really watching Spider-Man?” She asked him as crossed her arms in front of her chest, burying her hands in the fabric.

“There’s nothing else on TV, and you know how much I love Spider-Man.” He replied as he teased her as he lifted his feet pushing her lightly on the shoulder.

“Stop it!” She scolded him as she pushed his feet away from her face, earning her a deep laugh from him. His feet regained it’s place on her lap as they both moved their gaze back on the cartoon.

Emma turned her head around and noticed the lack of clothes he was wearing, which wasn’t surprising. Since she had known him, meaning since they were only babies, he always dressed lightly. He rarely felt cold, his body always suprisingly warm, making him very rarely cold. Her on the other hand, was the complete opposite, she was always cold, adding layers of sweaters constantly. When they left each of their home to to college they both agreed on moving in together, since they knew each other better than anyone else, and knew that they were the only company they could tolerate as roommate.

Their first altercation as roommates happened during their first winter. Killian constantly turning the heating system down, and she would always be so cold that she would turn way up. The situation ended in a big argument since they both didn’t agreed on the temparature. They finally came to an arrangement, keeping the common space at a average temperature, resulting in Emma only wearing a light sweater, and Killian being comfortable with a T-shirt.

“Did you manage to sleep at all?” She asked. Killian sighed deeply and shrugged.

“Not really. I went to bed exhausted but I just couldn’t manage to sleep more than two hours.”

“You should really go see a doctor about that. You know there are…” She stopped mid-sentence when she met his gaze, the one that said to leave the subject alone. They had gone over that matter over and over, and Killian was clearly annoyed by it.

“Fine.” She shrugged as she turned her attention back to Peter Parker. “It’s a wonder how you can’t manage to sleep with the amount of girls you bring back every week.”

Killian chuckle at her commentary and they both fell in a confortabke silence. Two episodes later, and a cup of coffee for him and cup of hot cocoa for her in heir system, the door of his bedroom creaked, and tall red haired girl wearing her clothes from the previous night she supposed, appeared in the living room.

She faltered her steps when she saw Emma, her eyes widening and mouth parting slightly. Judging by the girl’s surprise look, Killian must have omited to tell her that he had a girl as a roommate, knowing that he mostly did it to make the girls leave faster in the morning if they saw her.

Killian lifted himself up and went to join her in the middle of the room.

“Hey Sofia.” He simply greeted as he smiled at her. “Did you sleep well?”

The girl shifted uncomfortable and kept glancing at Emma. “Uh yeah, I did. Look I’m gonna go. Thanks for last night, I had a great time” She smiled at him, her hand grazing his arm.

“Aye, me too.” He asked her, making Emma roll her eyes. She knew that Killian was being kind and polite, but she knew him better than anyone.

Despite having spent the night with the girl, she knew he wanted her to leave so he could go back to his usual routine. He always slept around, a different girl every night (well not every night, most nights). But he didn’t like to spend time with them the next morning. Since they were kids they were inseperable, and as they grew up, Killian made sure that she never came second. She tried to do the same, earning a lot of disapproving looks and discussion from her former boyfriend, Jefferson. He eventually got fed up of her relationship with her childhood friend and broke things off with her.

KIllian accompanied her to the door, and came back to join her a moment later as he stood in front of her, blocking the view she had from the TV.

“So, want to go out and eat some breakfast?” Killian chirped.

-/-

It was horrible day. The day started badly, as she woke up and banged her foot at the bottom of her bed, making the loud curse that came out her mouth, he first words she said that day, and certainly wasn’t the last. The weather wasn’t in her favor as it was grey and raining a lot, and since she was late for work, she completely forgot to bring her umbrella. She missed her bus, and as she waited for the next one, a car passed by and sprayed her with dirty water. The rest of her day went by in that direction.

She arrived later than usual in the evening, her socks still moist from the morning, her hair a mess, and a grumpy frown on her face. Emma tried to find her keys in her purse, which proved to be a challenge, since the universe wasn’t cooperating. She managed to enter her appartment and tripped on Killian’s shoes that were blocking the entrance, making her curse, again. Hurried footsteps came out from the kitchen, as her roommate made himself appear.

“Emma? Are you okay?” He asked with a worried frown.

“Why on earth are your shoes doing in front of the door?” Emma blurted out as she tried to take her coat off without ripping it off her back. He knew better than to answer her, having witnessed those sudden burst of anger every once and awhile.

“Bad day?” He asked as he came to help get her arm out of her sleeve.

“Not just bad, horrible. It was horrible, awful, infuriating day. Nothing seemed to work for me and I just kept getting angry.” The moment she was free of her coat, she took off her shoes, and wanted to cry when her moist socks touched the floor. She sighed heavily with a pout on her face.

“Hey, look your day is over. You’re home now. Why don’t you take a bath, and relax, and I’ll make us something to eat. What do you say?” Both of his hands were on each side of her arms, his head levelling with hers, as she tried to comfort her.

“Okay.” She murmured defeatedly as she let him lead her towards the bathroom.

She closed the door, and disrobed herself while the hot water was filling the tub. She grabbed her make-up remover and cleaned her face with the humid cloth, and threw it into the trash can when she finished.

She dipped her toes to test the temperature of the water before immersing the rest of her body in it. Her eyes instantly closed when she felt the hot water relaxing her muscles as she tried to leave this day behind her. She doesn’t know how long she stayed in the water, probably a long time since her fingers were wrinkled by the water.

Her stomach started to growl and, reluctantly, she got up from the tub and let it drain before she went to grab her towel and dry herself. She tied the towel securely around her chest and taking her dirty clothes in her hands before leaving the bathroom. After she changed into her yoga pants. a huge, warm sweater, and her big socks, she went to join Killian in the kitchen.

“Mmm, it smells good. What are you making?” Emma went to nosed around the oven trying to take a look of the food. Killian was at the sink cleaning the dishes he used to make the food. He turned his head and glanced at her with smile.

“Your favorite: pizza.”

Her eyes widened and shined with excitement, her smile so wide he was convinced she would pull a muscle.

She went to stand behind him and hugged him as he finished his task. Emma felt the awfulness of her day leave her. Since they were kids, Killian always knew how to comfort her.

Whenever she fell and scratched her knee he was there. Whenever bullies tried to intimidate her, he was there defending her honour. Whenever she was sad because she got in a fight with her parents. Whenever she was heartbroken over some guy.

He was the only constant and reassuring thing in her life, and she knew that her life would be empty without him.

-/-

It was the third bottle of wine they were opening the night, and they still had two more to go. Emma decided to invite the girls over for a girls’ night-in while Killian went out with the guys.

They were all sitting in the living room, Ruby and Tink sitting comfortably on the couch, Regina sitting alone in the armchair, and Mary Margaret and Emma sitting indian style on the floor. Music was in the background as the girls catched up on each other’s lives. She had met Mary Margaret and Ruby in high school, as they skipped together gym classes and went to drink hot cocoa at the nearest coffee shop instead. She met the the Tink during her first year of college, and met Regina through her.

Over the past couple of years, the five of them became close friends and every month they tried to have a girls’ night in, since they were busy with work and well, life. Each month they went to one of their apartments, alternating turns. This month it was Emma’s.

“So, how are things with Killian?” Mary Margaret asked her as she leaned closer, while the others kept talking about Ruby’s newest conquest.

“Good, as always.” She answered as she took a sip of her wine.

“Does he still bring a different girl home every night?”

“It’s not every night, but, yeah, he does.”

“It doesn’t bother you?” The brunette inquired. Emma shrugged with her glass still in hand, her mouth curving downwards.

“No, not really. I mean, he gets home with his conquest late at night, when I’m already sleeping, and they never stay late in the morning. So I mostly don’t get to interact with them.”

“Well, I guess that helps.” Mary Margaret replied as she took her glass that was resting on the coffee table in front them.

“What helps?” Asked Ruby as she caught the last part of their conversation, attracting the attention of the two other girls.

“Nothing.” Emma tried to deflect, not wanting to make this discussion a big deal.

“Is it about Killian and his girls?” Asked the blonde. She sighed in defeat, knowing where this discussion would lead, in the same direction as it always go.

“Yeah.”

“Seriously, I don’t know how you do it, if I was living with a guy that I had thing for, and I see him with a different girl every night I would go insanely jealous.” Added Tink, as the others hummed in agreement.

“Wait. What? I don’t have a thing for Killian. He’s my friend and that’s all.” She looked at the girls with an incredulous expression. They all gave her the same look, the one that said, ‘yeah right’.

“You believe that lie you tell yourself? Because, let me tell you, you two are blind. He’s clearly into you, and you are into him. You two make eyes at each other everytime you’re in the same room.” All heads turned to Regina, since it was the first time she had really spoken that night.

“We don’t make eyes!” Emma replied, a bit outraged.

Did they?

“Oh, please, Emma. Don’t tell me you never noticed. He’s clearly using these girls to release some tension. Why do you think he doesn’t keep them around and only spends time with you. He has a thing for you.” Ruby added.

She looked at her friends confused with the news. She reasoned that her friends were talking nonsense, since they had quite much to drink. She managed to change the subject from Killian to Regina’s new boyfriend, Robin.

After the girls left, Emma rinse the empty bottles, and went to wash her teeth before heading to her room. She put on her pyjama and went to bury herself under the covers as she kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling, ruminating over what her friends told her about Killian.

As if on cue, the front door opened, followed by the sound of the lock being put in place. The footsteps made it’s way to her room, three small knocks making itself resonated on her door, a head peeked out behind the door.

“Hey, are you sleeping?” Killian murmured as he opened the door a bit more.

“Not yet.” He let himself in and went to lay beside her, on top of the covers. His arms snaked around her neck as he pulled her close to him, and inhaled deeply as he nuzzled her hair. Emma felt herself relax in his arms, as she felt the first signs of sleep making itself known. The last thought on her mind was that maybe her friends were right.

She may like him as more than a friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! I’m pretty overwhelmed by the response to this story! I didn’t think it would have that many readers since it’s a trope that has been overused. But apparently you all have a weakness for it!
> 
> So initially it was supposed to be a 3 part story, but it has now evolved to a 4 part story. As I was writing this chapter, my muse kept coming up with new twists to add to the story that I just can’t ignore!
> 
> There might be a part where it will be only Killians POV, I’m still not sure, I’ll see when I get there!
> 
> Thanks to my wifey, Nicki ( oncertwice) for editing this chapter.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this part!!

She hated this. 

 

She hated feeling incompetent, her body betraying her. Emma was sent home since her boss, Graham, thought she looked very pale, and she kept sneezing. She tried to convince him that she was fine, when mid-sentence, she started coughing and her voice came out very nasally. So now she was in her living room, in her pyjama as she laid down on her couch with box is tissue, a glass of water and Netflix.

 

The sound of keys in the lock was heard, followed by Killian entering the apartment. He took off his coat and shoes and then walked towards the living room. He frowned worriedly when he saw the state in which she in. Dishevelled hair, hooded eyes, the sound of a runny nose and the tip of it was a reddish color, the result of constantly blowing her nose.

 

"You don't look so good." 

 

"You think?" She responded sarcastically, followed by a cough. 

 

"At least your wit is still intact." He chuckled while she extended her arm towards the box of tissue that was on the floor.

 

“I’m going to make myself some tea, do you want some?” He asked her. 

 

“Yeah. I think that could do me some good.” 

 

Killian left to the kitchen as she heard him filling the kettle with water and deposit on the stove. The sound of the cupboards being open followed by the clanging of mugs came from the kitchen. Not long after, the kettle whistle alerting them that the water was now boiling.

 

Her roommate came back to the living room with two mugs, steam coming out of each. He settled their hot drinks on the coffee table, and he nudge her feet so he could sit. Emma mimicked his position, which would made drinking her tea less dangerous. She was already sick, she didn’t need to add burns to her skin. 

 

“What are we watching?” Killian asked as he grabbed one end of the blanket and covered his lap with it. 

 

“I don’t know, I’ve been asking myself the same question over the past half-hour and I still haven’t decided.” With the remote in hand, Emma scrolled down the endless list of possibilies. 

 

“Stop!” 

 

Her thumb stopped, her finger hovering over the button on the remote, and waited for him to tell her what movie he felt like seeing. 

 

“How about  Gremlins ?” 

 

She clapped her hands excitedly in response, enthusiastic with his proposition, and pressed on the movie. 

 

They watched the movie as they went back into their childhood mood, laughing at the movie, reminscing the moments when they watched the movie when kids, Killian teasing her because she used to be scared when the Gremlins appeared and tortured Mogwai. They finished watching the first movie, and then decided to watch the sequel as Emma settled herself on the couch as she lied down, resting her head on Killian’s lap. As they watched the second movie, his hand was on her hair, caressing her forehead and her locks. 

 

The sensation that provided his hands, made her feel sleepy and content. She closed her eyes for a moment, relishing on the tender moment. They had done this a hundreds of time, her head on his lap, or his on hers, and these moments always felt innocent, more like brotherly love, but today it felt like more. Maybe it was because she realized that her feelings for him might go deeper than just friendship. 

 

Not able to think more of it, as she felt herself numb and tired with her cold, and she let herself fall asleep on him, she will think of the consequences of these array of feelings when the time comes.

 

-/-

 

It was past midnight, and she wasn’t able to sleep since she kept ruminating over the same thoughts that has been haunting her lately. 

 

Killian.

 

Ever since her last girls night, when her friends pointed out that she had a thing for him, and the he did too, she constantly thought about it. She of course deflected the idea at first, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that they may be right.

 

She would never admit to anyone, but she did find him to her liking. He was her best friend, and she knew she could rely on him for anything. But beyond that, she always had trouble finding a guy that would be good enough to please her. Unconsciously, she always compared them to her dark haired roommate. 

 

Besides, having a great personnality and being an amazing friend to her, Emma wasn’t blind, she knew he was attractive. She never let herself look at him as more than a friend, but now that she had her doubts on her feelings, she realized how much his looks affected her. 

 

His blue eyes always sparkled with intensity as he lived his emotion to the extreme, the strong jawline of his that clenched when he was as serious or thinking of something, the way he always cocked an eyebrow up, the lopsided grin he’d show off, the way words would roll out of his tongue, his nervous tick of always scratching the back of ear is something that she always thought endearing. 

 

She could go on forever thinking of things that he did or the way he would move or look that drived her desperate with want, now that she allowed herself to think of those things in that way.

 

Emma was still deep in thought when there was a noise coming from the other side of her apartment, as if someone bumped into the furniture. She got out from under her blankets and left her room without making much noise. It was probably Killian coming back from the bar, but she still was a bit paranoid thinking it could be a robber, preparing to defend herself if needed. The apartment was obscure, the only lights seeping inside were from the lampost outside. 

 

She stopped in her tracks when she heard someone panting, and a stiffled moan. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and saw in the hallway, a girl being pressed on the wall while Killian had his head buried in her neck, her leg wrapped around his waist, his hand riding up her skirt. She felt herself freeze as she watched her roommate make out with another of his conquests. She swallowed hard and try to breathe, but the action proved hard to complete since she felt as if someone was cutting the airway to her lungs. 

 

She managed to return to her room, her body aching as well as her vision became blurry. She droped herself on her bed, burying herself in her blankets trying to cut herself from the world, letting her emotions run wild. Sleeping was now out the window.

 

The next morning, Emma woke up later than usual, since she had a hard time falling asleep knowing that her roommate had someone with him all night. She didn’t hear any noise coming from his room, as Killian always made sure not to bother her with the girls he brought home. She usually didn’t mind that he slept around, and she actually teased him about it a lot over the past years, but now, it was different. It made her stomach clench and her heart ache knowing that he had someone with him, wishing in some way that it was her instead of those bimbos.

 

Sitting at the edge of her bed, she rubbed both of her eyes and then ran her hands into her hair, as she lifted them up into a ponytail. She grabbed the first sweater that she found and pulled it on and went to her door. The moment she got out of her room, she hear a faint sound of a woman’s laugh coming out from the kitchen. Her feet stopped, when she heard Killian’s voice mixed with the sweet and soft one. 

 

Was he spending his morning with her? Since when?

 

She took a deep breath and walked the small distance that was left and joined the couple. He was sitting at the small kitchen table with the brunette that she got a glimpse of the night before. Killian didn’t seem to notice her come in, being entrance by the presence of this girl, who her eyes glanced from him to her. He must have noticed that her eyes weren’t on him anymore and turned his head around and saw her standing at entrance of the kitchen.

 

She tried the best she could to look unaffected by the woman’s presence and she was quite sure that she was failing, miserably.

 

"Hey Emma. I didn't hear you come in." 

 

"Hey, yeah well i just got up." She avoided their gaze and went to the pantry to grab her favorite cocoa mix.

 

She turned her back to them, not wanting to look at them make eyes at each other and didn’t need to see their roaming hands. Still, she couldn’t help but to take a peek at them. It was the first time that Killian let one of his girls stay the morning for coffee and breakfast. 

 

He usually arranged himself for the girls to leave and have breakfast with her as they always ended up spending their mornings together, he always told her that the weekend mornings were only for her. Apparently today was the day where that tradition will came to and end. She tried to hurry to make her breakfast and cocoa, wanting to leave the kitchen as fast as possible. 

 

When her bread finished toasting, she quickly spread the raspeberry jam and grabbed her mug with her and left towards her room to eat. She deposited her plate and drink on her end table and sat indian style on her bed. Her eyes were fixated on her door, as she unconsciously hoped that Killian would appear from behind it and tell her that he was sorry and that the girl just left and that she was the insisting on staying. Telling her that he was now ready for their usual Saturday morning routine. Unfortunately, her fantasy didn’t came true, and she felt her face break down, letting tears slip from her eyes once again, forgetting completely the food on her table. 

 

-/-

 

The air was getting colder as the winter breeze started to make itself known. Emma readjusted her grip on the bottle of wine with her leather gloves, her other hand holding her scarf in place. She climbed the two stories that led her to Tink’s apartment. It took only a moment for someone to open the door, as the petite blonde greeted her into her apartment. She was the last to arrive, as usual, and could see that the other girls were already settled on the couch and some on the cushions that were on the floor. 

 

The girls greeted in unison as they saw her enter the room, as she went to sit on the flowery cushion on the floor. Tink joined them seconds later with another glass so that Emma could pour herself some wine. Emma had been looking forward all week to this night, since lately hanging out at her place proved to be unpleassant and source of her misery. 

 

As usual they all tried to catch up in everyone’s life. Ruby was now going steady with this guy she had talked to them about at their last girls’ night, Victor. Tink was kind of seeing this one guy too, which everyone divulged outloud the awkwardness of his name, Baelfire. Mary Margaret’s life was as perfect and stable as always, as she and David were now thinking about having kids. And the big announcement of the evening came from Regina telling them that she was getting married. Robin had asked her the big question during a weekend away in the woods in a nice resort. They spent most of their time asking Regina the details of his proposal. She also took the occasion to ask Tink to be her maid of honor and them to be her bridesmaid, which they all agreed to and it was concluded by a toast. 

 

“So are you going to invite your boyfriend to come with you for the wedding?” Regina asked as she refilled her glass with red wine.

 

Emma looked at Ruby who was sitting beside her, convinced that the question was adressed to her friend. When the brunette looked at her, as if she was waiting for an answer, she turned her head around and saw her friends doing the same.

 

“Me?” She asked confused. Her friends all nodded in response.

 

“Uh, well, Killian isn’t my boyfriend, just to make that clear. And he’ll probably bring his girlfriend with him.”

 

“What?” The four girls asked in unison, not believing what they were hearing. Killian Jones had a girlfriend.

 

“Since when?” Added Tink, clearly wanting to know more detail about this mysterious girl who managed to settle the Brit down. 

 

“Since last month. He came home with her one night, and the next morning she was eating breakfast with him in our kitchen and she has been coming to our place ever since.” Emma told them as she tried to pass the information as if it was nothing, and not show them how much it pained her to see that girl with him every goddamn day. 

 

“Who is she?” Asked Ruby with a concern and intrigued voice.

 

“I don’t know, I just know that her name is Milah, and that he met her one night at the bar. I don’t know anything else and to be honest I’m not interested in knowing more.” 

 

She moved the rim of her glass to her lips, and took a big sip of her drink, hoping that it would wash down the bitter taste that she had in her mouth. They stayed in silence for a moment, her friends trying to assess the situation.

 

“How do you feel about this?” The soft concerned voice of Mary Margaret broke the silence. Emma lifted her eyes to meet hers, and felt herself crack bit by bit.

 

“He can do whatever he wants. He’s my best friend since forever and that won’t change. He can date whoever he wants.” She answered as she tried to mask the wavering in her voice.

 

“That’s not what I’m asking Emma. How do you  feel?” Her friend insisted. Emma looked down to her glass, her teeth nibbling at her bottom lip. When she raised her eyes to look at ther friends, they were filled with tears that were threatening to spill, and took in a shaky breath.

 

Her non-verbal answer was enough for her friends to understand how she felt. Ruby that was sitting next to her, shifted her cushion closer to hers and took her in her arms. The tender and comforting action from her friend was enough to make her breakdown in tears.

 

When she finally managed to calm herself down after crying her heart out, her friends all tried to cheer her up by making her laugh and reassuring her that Killian was blind to not see her as the woman she was. They didn’t knew his girlfriend, but they al jokingly assumed that she was a dumb bimbo, and that Emma shouldn’t be threatened by her, that Killian will eventually open his eyes and see what was in front of him.

 

Emma smiled at her friends, appreciating what they did and say to try and cheer her up. She couldn’t ask for better friends and despite her heart ache, she felt happy to have them by her side. 

 

“You know Emma, if you ever want to change you mind about that stupid and unworthy man, I know a guy that you might actually like.” Regina chimed in. Emma smiled at her friend and shook her head in response. 

 

“Thanks, Regina, but I don’t feel like sleeping around to forget about my problems.”

 

“Who’s talking about sleeping around? I’m just telling you that there’s this guy, a friend of my half-sister, who would be perfect for you. He’s sophisticated, handsome, and very gentil. He could be very good for you.”

 

“Uh, thanks, but I don’t know.” Emma shrugged.

 

“Why not?” Voiced Ruby. “It could do you some good to know another man.”

 

She looked around and saw all of her friends nodding and some adding their opinion to that matter. The only one not quite convinced was Mary Margaret, who said that she believed that Killian would eventually come to his senses. Her other friends shot down the brunette telling her that Emma couldn’t wait all her life for him to realize what he had in front of him and that she shouldn’t be waiting for him and that she should move on. After debating for a while, her friends finally convinced her.

 

“Fine.” Emma said outloud. “I’ll go out with him.”

 

“Perfect, I’ll tell Zelena to tell Walsh to call you.” Regina said with a satisfied grin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! So apparently I can make up my mind and decided to add another part to the story. The next chapter will be in Killian’s POV, and will cover part 1 to 3 from this story, and then there’s going to be the final chapter.
> 
> I really hope you’ll like this chapter, I know I do, and I really enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Thanks to all of you who read it, seriously you guys are amazing, and thanks to Nicki ( oncertwice ) who always help me when in doubt and edits my stories ( I know I say this everytime but it’s true)
> 
> Read and enjoy!

It was the tenth outfit that she was trying on and she was still unsure of what to wear. The day that followed her girls night, Walsh called her, and they talked on the phone for a bit before he asked her if she wanted to meet with him, and go to diner. Emma agreed, and here she was, getting ready for her date.

 

After debating with herself over which dress she should wear, she finally decided on wearing a short leather dress and black high heels. She arranged her hair in soft curls and applied a bit of make up before leaving her room to fetch a glass of water. She passed by the living room where Killian was lying on the couch and playing on his Playstation.

 

When he heard the sound of her heels hitting the hardwood floor he lifted his eyes briefly from his game before pausing it to get a good look at her. His jaw dropped, making Emma feel a bit worried, maybe it was not a good dress for her.

 

"What?" She asked self-consciously, now standing in the middle of the room. 

 

Killian raised himself a bit so that he was now sitting on the couch. His eyes traveled her body from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

 

"I...uh...you look amazing." He stammered. 

 

Emma let out a sigh of relief and was a bit proud that she made him stumble on words for a moment. She smiled at him and resumed her walk towards the kitchen. She heard Killian get up from the couch and follow her.

 

"Do you mind telling me what's the occasion?" He asked her as he leaned his back on the counter next to her.

 

"I have date." She could swear she saw a hint of disappointment and hurt in his eyes, but Emma reminded herself that it wasn't possible. He had a girlfriend, Milah. 

 

"I didn't know you were seeing someone." He locked his eyes with hers. She held his gaze for a moment before turning her head around so she could grab a glass from the cupboard in front of her and went to the sink to fill it with water. 

 

"I'm not. It's just a date. Regina set me up with a friend of her sister’s." She explained before taking a sip from her glass.

 

His body seemed to slightly relax as he listened to her, as if her seeing some one meant a huge deal to him. She felt confused seeing him that way, he never really minded when she had a boyfriend, of course he did teased about them. Giving them not very flattering nicknames, teasing her about a particular physical trait about them, it was never meant to be hurtful, it was like having a brother teasing his sister about a guy she was seeing. That's it. That's all that it was, so why should it be different now? It shouldn't, but it was. She could feel it, it was palpable. 

 

"You seem...  relieved ?" 

 

His eyes widened and a flick of panic came across his eyes but quickly disappeared. "I, uh, no. I mean, I found it a bit odd that if you were seeing someone, I should know."

 

" Should? " 

 

"Well, yes. I am your confidant, your best friend. You always tell me about these things." 

 

"That doesn't mean I  have  to. It's my life and I reserve the right to keep things from you." She answered, her voice raising just a tad. 

 

Killian was about to reply when there was a knock on the door. Emma deposited her glass in the sink, and walked passed him, and grabbed her purse and went to open the door to her date. She saw from the corner of her eye that Killian was watching the exchange between her and Walsh. She looked back at him quickly before grabbing her red coat heading out, and saw him arms crossed in front of his chest, jaw clenched as he leaned in the kitchen’s doorframe. She opened the entrance door and left with her date.

 

-/-

 

The cab ride felt awkward.

 

It was Regina and Robin’s engagement party, and Emma had decided to invite Walsh as her date for the evening. They had gone on a couple of dates together, and each time she ended up having a great time. She didn’t know yet if she could see herself be with him in the long run, but for now he was a good distraction from Killian, who was still dating MIlah. The four of them decided to take a cab together to Regina’s.

 

They rode in silence, neither of them really speaking. Emma was sitting in the back between Milah and Walsh, Killian sitting in the front. Walsh’s hand went to grab hers during the ride, and she caught a glance of her roommate looking at them from the rear view mirror. Since her date with him, Killian has been quite distant, spending most of his time with Milah. She didn't know why he was acting that way but it bothered her. A lot.

 

As for Milah, she tried as best as she could to get to know her since she was spending a lot of time in their apartment. At first, it pained her that she has somehow taken away most of her time with him. She reminded herself not to complain since she was also seeing someone. 

 

“So, what do you do Walsh?” Asked the brunette next to her as she leaned her head a bit forward to look at her date. 

 

“I work at the zoo, I take care of the primates." He answered with a smile, as Killian turned his head to look at them while he laughed. 

 

“Are you serious? You’re a monkey boy?” Emma turned her gaze towards him and gave him a look that he knew too well the one that meant ‘shut up’ . He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders as if he was innocent.

 

“What? It’s true.” She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in front of her chest and tore her eyes off him. 

 

He always,  always, do that to every guy she decided to date. She usually just brushed it off, but tonight it bothered her. 

 

She spent the rest of the car ride, talking to Walsh and ignored the two others. They finally arrived in front of Regina’s big white house. They shared the cab fee, the guys helping their respective date out of the yellow car. Emma and Walsh walked passed the two others and walked the path that led them to the front door, and rang the bell. 

 

A couple of second after the generic bell sand it's song which resonated inside the house, the bride to be opened the door and greeted them inside. They congratulated her, and then led them the guest room where they could put away their coats. They then went to join the rest of the guest in the big living room where waiters had been hired to walk through the guests and offered them drinks and morsel of food. 

 

Emma sauntered through the room and greeted her friends as she passed by them, presenting at the same time her date. Her friends were quite pleased to finally meet him and she stayed with them for a while. When she finally caught sight of Robin who was talking to Killian and Milah. She excused herself and walked to the other side of the room to see him.

 

“Hey Robin!” She exclaimed when she got near him, her hand resting on his shoulder. 

 

“Emma! I didn’t know you were here already.”

 

“Yeah, well I arrived with these guys.” She told him as she nodded her head towards her roommate. “So I guess congratulation is in order. You finally decided to ask her hand in marriage after all these years. Regina’s a lucky lady” 

 

Robin’s cheeks turned red, and smiled bashfully at her. “I didn’t have any other choice. She’s the only woman for me, so I guess it was just a matter of time before I would ask her to marry me. I should say I am the lucky one to have the honour of having her as my future wife.” 

 

“Well let’s just say you are both lucky.” She smiled at him, happy that her friend had found someone who loved and respected her that much. 

 

“So Killian told me that you now have a new man under your spell?” Emma smiled uncomfortably at his comment and casted a look at Killian who had a hand buried in one of his pockets, the other one holding his beer. 

 

“You mean monkey boy?” 

 

“Monkey boy?” Robin repeated confused as he looked at Killian than her. Emma sighed and rolled her eyes once again.

 

“Don’t listen to him. His name is Walsh, and he’s just over there.” She turned around and pointed at him, where he was talking with Zelena. He looked over at them and smiled as he greeted Robin from afar with a wave of his hand.

 

“He’s a good looking fellow. He treats you well I hope?” 

 

She smiled shyly at him, and nodded. “He does.”

 

“Good.” 

 

The rest of the evening was pleasant as she made conversation with her friends, and felt happy when she saw how Walsh had charmed her friends. They were all standing in a small circle as he was talking about one of the primate he was in charge at the zoo, and the silly and smart things he did. The girls occasionally laughed and were awed at some of his stories. Emma was standing next to him with a proud grin on her face as she held her flute of champagne. 

 

In the middle of the conversation, Killian came and joined them, Milah tagging along with him. She took a deep breath to brace herself when she noticed the tipsy look on his face, and knew that with the way he was acting earlier that night, he will be a bit more annoying now that he had a couple of beers in his system.

 

She felt on edge as she saw Killian waiting for the opportun moment to make a teasing comment at Walsh. Not wanting to go through that again, she decided to put that matter to an end. She saw the glint in his eyes as he saw his way in, but Emma noticed that look fast enough and grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him in the guest room where the coats where. She closed the door in a decisive manner and turned around to face him, hands resting on her hips.

 

"If you wanted to get close to me you just need to ask, love." He said as he smirked at her. Emma furrowed her brows, clearly annoyed.

 

"What the hell is your problem?"

 

"I don't have a problem. Do you?" He replied smugly.

 

"Yes!  You , assface! You're acting like a jerk!" She exclaimed.

 

" Me ? On the contrary, I'm being very pleasant." He added completely unphased by her outburst. He lifted his beer to his lips but before he could have a sip she took the bottle of his hands. 

 

"Hey!" He blurted out, this time a bit offended.

 

"You are a being an asshole. Seriously, ‘monkey boy?’" At her comment he started to laugh which made her even madder at him. 

 

"Oh come on, Emma, you have to admit that it's funny. Where is your sense of humor?"

 

"It's  not  funny. You always do this."

 

"Do what?"

 

"Make teasing comments on the guys I'm seeing. It's not funny, and frankly, it's condescending. Don't you want me to be happy?" She saw his face drop and finally recognized his serious look surface.

 

"Of course I do. You're happiness is one of the most important things to me." Emma locked her eyes with his, and saw only raw sincerity in them. 

 

"Then why do you act that way?" She added her voice now calm. 

 

"Because, those guys don't deserve you. They can't make you happy the way you should be." 

 

"What do you know about what I need?" Killian closed the gap between them, his hand going to rest on her shoulders as he looked down on her. 

 

"Emma, I know you better than you know yourself. You need a man that can cherish you as if you were the most precious thing that exists, as if your the light and air that they need to live. Someone who can challenge you to be the best version of yourself. And those men can't handle you."

 

She stood still, his eyes pouring an emotion that she couldn't quite distinguish. She caught his eyes drifting down and take a look at her lips, making her heart beat faster. Her eyes fluttered as she took a glimpse of his lips, the space between reduced to a couple of inches only. Emma could feel the warmth of his breath ghost over her lips, as she closed her eyes and felt her head tilt upwards to close the space that was left between them.

 

The door swung open, making both of them jump and put some distance between them. Ruby’s steps faltered as she came in the room and eyed them both. 

 

"Did I interrupt something?" Killian and Emma both avoided each other gaze, making the air in the room thick.

 

“Uh, no you didn’t.” The brunette didn’t look convinced as Emma walked out of the room, leaving Killian and Ruby behind and went to seek Walsh out. She found him near the fireplace talking with Regina and Zelena. She walked up to him and stroked her hand on his upper arm to get his attention. 

 

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?” Walsh grinned at her request and finished his drink before he went to grab their coats. She saw Killian come out of the room as her date went in. She Killian was looking at her as he walked over her. As he arrived near her, she saw her date come out of the room, and left her spot before Killian could reach her and walked passed by him and went to join Walsh. 

 

He handed her her red coat with a smile, which she return forcefully. They put their coat on and left the party. 

 

-/-

 

A couple of days passed since the engagement party. Emma still felt confuse with what happened and couldn’t help but wonder what would have happen if they weren’t interrupted. She could swear that she saw a hint of emotion and feelings that went deeper than just friendship. She then rememinded herself that he had a girlfriend and that he was also a bit drunk that night and that it probably meant nothing. 

 

Afraid of having to discuss that matter with him, and having to admit those feelings she thought she had, she decided to avoid him, which proved to be quite difficult since they both lived in the same apartment. Every time he entered a room she found an excuse to leave the room, or when he came in late and would knock on her door to speak to her she fainted being asleep. Today was not an exception to that, and decided to wake up and went to visit Ruby at her place, needing someone to talk to.  

 

“So are we going to talk about what happened on Saturday?” Asked the brunette as she finished stirring the cocoa mix in her mug. Emma tore her eyes off her drink and looked at her friend.

 

“Nothing happened.” She inwardly facepalmed herself. Why did she denied what happened to her friend when she was here to talk about it? At least, her friend didn’t believe her judging by the look she was giving her.

 

“Fine. To be honest I don’t know what happened.” She sighed. 

 

“How come? It seemed pretty clear that the two of you were about to kiss.”

 

“I know, it’s just that everything happened so fast and I had a couple of glasses of champagne in me, and I’m still not sure how we ended up there.”

 

“Okay. Can you at least tell me how you two ended up in the guest room?”

 

“I dragged him there. I was fed up with him and his teasing comments towards Walsh. And for a while he continued acting like a jerk, and he ended up telling me that all the guys I’ve dated weren’t good enough for me.”

 

“Really?” Ruby asked pleasantly surprised, while Emma nodded in response. 

 

“I think that those feelings you have for him might be mutual.” She singsonged. Emma grimaced not quite convinced.

 

“I don’t know. He could just be very protective of me. He always has been.”

 

“Well, in that case you don’t have any other choice than to talk to him and clear the things up.”

 

“Ugh,you’re right. I just don’t want to have that talk. Things are already weird between us since then, I don’t want him to crush my heart and ruin what we have between us. He’s my best friend and I can’t lose him because of some stupid feelings.”

 

“I know, but if you don’t it could end up being worst. Or, he could feel the same way about you.” Ruby replied as she took Emma’s hands in hers across the small table.

 

Emma ended up spending the rest of the afternoon over there, and left early in the evening. She decided to stop at the grocery store to buy some essentials, and buy a frozen pizza box for supper. By the time she got out from the store, it had started snowing heavily, as she walked home through it holding the brown bag closely to her chest. 

 

She managed to reach her building, and opened the main door with difficulty. She was now sweating underneath her coat and from the exhaustion of her walk, and her feet were soaked. Impatient to get to her apartment she climbed the stairs as fast as she could. Holding the bag with one hand, she fumble to grab her keys, and ended up dropping the entire content of her grocery bag on the floor. As she cursed loudly at her misfortune, the door swung open and revealed her roommate who was still wearing the same sweatpants and t-shirt from this morning.

 

“Are you okay?” His thick brows furrowed as he looked at the scene before him a bit worried.

 

“Yeah, but the food isn’t.” She straighened herself and let out a deep breath to calm herself.

 

“Here, let me help.” He bent down and grabbed as much as he could of what was lying on the floor while she took the rest, grabbing what was left of the brown bag. 

 

She took off her boots, and walked over to the kitchen her coat still on. Halfway through, he joined her and grabbed what she had, his hands grazing hers as she felt a shiver run down her spine. 

 

“Let me take this, and you can take your coat off.” He instructed her, and she obeyed. 

 

Killian walked towards the kitchen while Emma went to hang her things and decided to go to her bedroom and change into something more comfortable. She put on her black yoga pants and grabbed her red hoodie, and searched in her drawers a big pair of warm socks. She took a deeo breath knowing that Killian would be waiting for her in the kitchen. 

 

As she entered the room, she saw him standing in front of the oven, eyebrows furrowed as he read the instructions at the back of the pizza box, before he set the temperature and preheated the oven. He dropped the box on the counter and glanced at her before he went towards the fridge and took two beers out. He walked towards her, and she noticed that he was barefoot. Even after all these years and the fact that she knew that he wasn’t rarely cold, she still found it amazing that he was able to walk barefoot on the cold ceramic floor.

 

“You look like you might need a drink.” He handed her the bottle which she took gladly. They both took the top off, and then Killian tilted his bottle towards her and waited for to do the same. After the light tap of their bottles they both took a swig of their drink. 

 

“You’ve been avoiding me.” He told her as he deposited his bottle on the counter next to the food. Emma’s eyes widened as he kept his gaze fixed on hers. 

 

“It’s okay. I’ve been thinking a lot about that night, and you were right. I was acting like a jerk and I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you with the way I was acting.” She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes, and couldn’t help herself to be relieved that he was apologizing.

 

“Thanks.Does this mean you’ll be nice to Walsh from now on?” He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, as if what she was asking was a incredibily hard task.

 

“I will, for you. But don’t expect me to like him.” He took another sip as he kept his eyes on her.

 

“It’s okay, I don’t expect you to. I just want you to be civilized when he’s here. I mean I don’t always like the girls you bring here but I keep my mouth shut. For you.” His eyes drifted down as he sighed. 

 

“I didn’t know you felt that way. I feel like the worst friend now.” His voice was small, and she could tell that he felt awful.

 

Emma was about to tell them that he wasn’t, when her phone rang. She cast him a reassuring smile before going to grab her phone that was still in her purse, which still on the floor near the entrance door. She looked at the caller ID, and saw that it was Walsh. She was about to hit the green button, when she realised that she didn’t feel like talking to him, since he was probably just calling to know how her day went. She ignore the call and put her phone away in her purse and went to join Killian that was already in the living room.

 

“Who was it?” He asked as he turned on the television.

 

“Wrong number.” She said as she sat on the couch next to him.

 

“By the way, I put the pizza in the oven. It should be ready in about fifteen minutes.” She turned her head around to look at him and smiled, as he did the same.

 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” 

 

“Sure.” He scrolled down the list of movie on Netflix, and they settled on watching  The Goonies . 

 

A couple of minutes later the oven beeped alerting them that the pizza was now ready and Killian paused and went to grab the food, while Emma joined him and grabbed them another beer. They sat comfortably on the couch while they ate their pizza. 

 

Emma felt the easiness of their friendship come back. They didn’t talk about the fact that they almost kissed that night, and she told herself that maybe he was too drunk to actually remember what happened then. She felt somewhat relieved that he did, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit disapointed. She comforted herself by the fact that they cleared the air in what concerned their relationship with others and that they went back to their usual friendship. 

 

When she finished eating her food she leaned forward and put down her plate on the coffee table and when she leaned back into the couch she grabbed the blanket that was never far away, while Killian went to fetch their third beer. He lended her her bottle as he sat down, and saw a shiver. He wrapped his arm around her and brought her closer to him. Emma felt the warmth of his body warm her, and inhaled the scent that emanated from him. She sighed contently and let herself get carried away with the comfortable and familiar feeling that was his hugs.

Two beers later, Emma was still in his arms as they decided to start watching another movie. She felt him shifting on his seat, and move his head a bit as she felt his hand caress her arm. Emma tilted her head up to look at him wondering if she was making his arm numb.

 

“Are you okay?” She asked as she looked at him and noticed that he was looking at her intently. 

 

She felt her cheeks go red as she felt herself being scrutinized under his gaze. Her skin felt suddenly hot, but that could also be due to the four beers she had, and maybe a bit the way that he was looking at her. 

 

Her breathing match his, shallow and quick, and before she even had time to register what was happening. His lips were soft on hers, the kiss gradually getting more and more desperate and hungry, tongues tangling together. They changed position on the couch as he pressed her between the couch and himself, as he settled between her legs. 

 

She moaned when he rolled his hips on her, his bulge pressing on her center, as his hands traveled from her thigh and slipped under her hoodie, his warm and strong hands on her ribcage. Her hands running through his dark hair, something that she’d secretly always wanted to do. Emma moved her hips up wanting to feel some more friction, the action making Killian groaned into her mouth, adding fuel to his passionate kiss, sucking on her bottom lip before trailing down her neck. 

 

Her eyes rolled back when his hard bulge pressed on the perfect spot making her pant loudly into his ear. His hand now moved down her stomach, and pushed the elastic band of her pants and went to cup her sex, his fingers gathering some of wetness that had gathered there. That’s when she realized what they were doing, and felt as if a bucket full of ice water was dropped on her and she pushed him away. She got up from the couch as fast as she could, leaving him there.

 

“Emma! Wait!” He got up and followed her as she walked as fast as she could towards her bedroom. 

 

“Wait!” He grabbed her wrist and spunned her around.

 

“I’m sorry Killian. That was a mistake.” She felt tears gather in her eyes as she told him that, and saw the confused look he cast her.

 

“Are you sure? It doesn’t feel like it to me.” 

 

She shook her head in response as she freed herself from his grasp. “It is. You’re dating Milah, and I’m dating Walsh. If we do this I would only be an addition to the endless list of girls you’ve slept with. I just can’t.” She opened the door her room and went to seclude herself as she layed on her bed, letting tears fall down her cheeks. 

 

A moment later she heard soft thud on her door, that’s when she knew that he was sitting in front of it. Waiting for her.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So I finally managed to finish this chapter. I honestly didn’t think it would be done so soon since I was sooooooooo busy this week, and I was sad thinking that I would have to update after the holidays. Apparently I pulled a miracle and here it is!
> 
> So as promised and announced this chapter is only in Killian’s POV, covering parts 1 to 3. That means that this part is twice as long as the others, and from what I can gather in most fics out there, you probably won’t mind.
> 
> Next part is officially the last. I have changed my mind a lot since I first posted this story but now I’m sticking to it.
> 
> Thanks to Nicki ( oncertwice )for her work as beta and helping me with it!
> 
> Anyways, I will now shut up and let you read. I really hope you liiiiike it!!

It was early in the morning and, as usual, Killian couldn’t manage to fall back asleep. He looked to his side where the girl he’d met at the bar the night before was laying. She was pretty with the small freckles she had on her cheeks and her long, wavy red hair, the color so vibrant that it caught his attention immediately as his eyes scanned the place.

He flirted shamelessly with her, like he usually did, and, like most of the time, they ended up in his bed. They spent most of the night enjoying each other, the way he always liked, no strings attached. He managed to sleep two hours tops, and then it was the neverending battle with his brain, trying to shut it down so he could have at least a couple hours more of sleep.

He let out a deep sigh and decided that there was no point in trying to sleep and sat at the edge of his bed. The sun was starting to rise and a soft light was seeping through his still-open curtains. Killian wondered if one day he’d be able to skip the sunrise and wake up well-rested when the sun will be shining brightly. He grabbed a pair of boxers and his Nirvana shirt that was lying on top of his dresser and got out of his room.

Killian went in the living room and slumped on the couch, exhaling as he made himself comfortable. He grabbed the remote that was on the coffee table and turned on the television, making sure that the volume was low enough, so he wouldn’t wake his roommate. He flicked through the channels hoping to find something to distract him. When he stumbled on a kids channel where they were passing old episodes of Spider-Man, Killian dropped the remote on the table and let himself go back into his childhood memories.

 

Half an hour passed and he heard a door opened on the other side of the apartment, the noise indicating that Emma was now awake. He glanced at her as she entered the room her hair in a messy bun, wearing her big and fluffy robe with matching slippers, as a small smile appeared on his face when he noticed that she was wearing the latest Christmas present he had offered her.

Since they were little, she had always been very sensible to cold weather, always wearing big sweaters, and cowls, protecting her small delicate feet with big soft socks. He was the complete opposite and was rarely cold, except on winter where he would of course wear a coat, he was still human after all. Emma always chastised him when they would go out during the winter as he wore his coat open, with no scarf on. She would always lecture him that he would catch a cold, and when he did she would always rub it on his face that she had warned him, but was still at his side taking care of him, like he did with her when she did.

Emma nudged his leg with her knee so she could sit on the couch, his legs regaining it’s initial position, on her lap.They stayed in a comfortable silence, both still a bit tired before she started teasing him because he was watching Spider-Man. They watched a couple of episodes together before the girl he had brought over woke up. He turned his head and saw her standing uncomfortably at the entrance of the living room.

As he got up, Killian tried to rememeber what was her name, he knew it was something with an ‘S.’ Stephanie, Sara, Sabrina, Sofia. Yes, Sofia. He walked over to her with a smile, and asked her if she slept well. The redhead answered him and he saw that she kept glancing at Emma and noticed she was uncomfortable with her presence, and he couldn’t help himself but say to himself ‘good’. He knew that it was maybe a bit selfish, but as much as he enjoyed the company of those ladies, when morning arrived the only thing he wanted is to them to leave so he could get on with his things and spend time with Emma. The fact that she was his roommate helped, a lot.

He walked the girl to the door, and told her the same speech he said to all of these girls and went back to Emma.

“So, want to go out and eat some breakfast?” He chirped.

-/-

Killian had arrived home not too long ago, and after he took a good shower he went into the kitchen. He looked through the pantry to see what he could make himself for supper since his stomach was growling. He looked at the small clock on the oven, and realized that Emma should be back soon, and decided that he will start making dinner for both of them.

Minutes later, the door opened followed by a loud curse and what seemed like someone tripping. Killian hurried his step towards the entrance and saw Emma with a murderous look, the one she had when she had a particularly horrible day or when she had her “lady problems.”

“Emma? Are you okay?” He asked, quite worried that she might have hurt herself.

“Why on earth are your shoes doing in front of the door?” She blurted out, as she tried to take her coat off. He could see that she was fighting her way out of it, and stifled a laugh, knowing it was not time to anger her even more.

“Bad day?” He asked her as he closed the space between them in hopes of helping her. He helped with the sleeve of her coat as she told him how horrible her day was. She took her boots off and he noticed that she was on the verge of crying when she looked down at her feet. They were probably soaked.

Not wanting her to be in one of those moods, he proposed to her to get a bath while he made them supper. She acquiesced and walked towards the bathroom with an heavy sigh and slumped shoulders. Killian went to the kitchen and finished preparing their supper which he had already started. He chopped the bell pepper and onions and spread them all over the tomato sauce. He then grabbed the brick of cheese and grated it a big part of it, knowing that she liked having a lot of cheese on her pizza. When he finished putting the toppings on it, he opened the already preheating oven and slipped the uncooked pizza in it. He then went to take care of the dishes knowing that he wouldn’t feel like doing them later.

Emma entered the room looking fresh and relaxed as she wore her usual black leggings, and her oversized red sweater, which he thought always made her look adorable.

“Mmm, it smells good. What are you making?” He saw her from the corner of his eye, bending as she peeked inside of the unlit oven, trying to figure out what was for dinner.

“Your favorite: pizza.” Her face lit up with the news, a huge smile appearing on her face as she skipped towards him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheeks on his back. He felt her tighten the hug and it made his heart swell. Making her happy with even with slightest attention, especially when she had a bad day, made him happy.

-/-

Killian was hanging at the bar as he waited for his friends to arrive. He had been chased out of his own apartment since the girls were having their monthly night, and it was Emma’s turn to host. Like usual, the guy being chased invited the others for a drink, and have somewhat their guys night out.

He saw David and Robin from afar as they tried to make their way through to where he was standing. A minute later they managed to reach him, and greeted each other with a one arm hug. They ordered a round of drinks and started to catch up. Apparently Robin had finally had the guts to ask Regina out, and he was happy he did, since those two have been flirting with each other incessantly for the past year.

“I’m happy for you mate, you finally got the balls to ask her out.” Killian chimed in as David laughed at his comment.

“And what about you then? When will you have the balls to finally ask Emma out?” Robin retorted, leaving Killian a bit speechless as he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What are you getting at?” He finally managed to ask.

“Oh come on man. Don’t tell us you don’t have this huge thing for Emma.” David added leaving him even more lost in this discussion.

"Well, Dave, I dunno how you know about my huge thing, but I generally keep it in my pants where she’s concerned."

David feigned a laugh at his comment, while Killian took a sip of his beer with an eyebrow raised.

“Why would you guys think that? Emma is just a friend, a very good friend and that’s all there is.” He inquired a moment later, their assumption making him curious.

David inhaled deeply as he shrugged his shoulder. “Well let’s just say that you two act as if you were a couple without actually having sex.”

Robin laughed at his comment and the back of his hand tapped on Killian’s shoulder. “And if only you could see how whipped you are by that woman.”

He looked at his friends with an offended look as he tried to defend himself.

“I am certainly not whipped!” His answer made his friends laugh even more, and making him even more irritated.

“Oh please Killian. She only have to cast you that look and you obey her like a good little doggy.” The guys continued laughing as they kept coming out with situations when it happened. Killian was biting his bottom lip as he listened to his friends and grabbed his pint and finished it in three big gulps. He slammed it on the coaster and with both eyebrows raised he looked at his friends.

“That’s it. I’m tired of listening to you fools, I’m leaving.”

“Oh come on, mate, don’t act this way.” Robin told him as he passes right them, and he ignored his comment and left the crowded bar.

As he walked towards his apartment, he couldn’t help the words of his friends swirling around in his head. It wasn’t the first time people thought that Emma was his girlfriend due to their closeness. Killian and her often took it to their advantage as they used each other as fake girlfriend and boyfriend when someone was flirting with one of them and they weren’t interested. That was the extent of any romantic relationship between them. It wasn’t that he didn’t think she was attractive, because she was extremely gorgeous, but he always saw her as untainable, untouchable since she was considered has his family.

He arrived at his place and unlocked the door and entered the dark and silent apartment. He walked over to her bedroom wondering if she was still awake, wanting to ask her how her evening went, hopefully better than his. He knocked on her door softly and opened it, peeking his head inside. He saw her under the covers, the moonlight seeping in her room, lighting her room softly as he noticed that her eyes were open.

“Hey, are you sleeping?” Killian murmured as he let himself enter her room.

“Not yet.” She replied softly, as he crossed the space between the door and her, and went to lay beside her on the covers. His arm went around her and he tucked her under his arm as he nuzzled her hair. He always loved the smell of her hair, he didn’t know if it was her or her shampoo, probably the latter, but he found it comforting. He felt her relax in his arms, and he exhaled softly, closing his eyes and letting himself fall asleep next to her.

-/-

Emma had a cold, and she looked so weak as she sat indian style on the couch, under a pile of clothes and blankets with the tea he made her warming her hands. They settled on watching Gremlins, and it didn’t take long for her to lay down on the couch, resting her head on his lap. He helped her settle the blanket around her, his hand almost instantly on her head, caressing her hair. After a while, he heard her snore softly, and he looked down at her. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as he looked at her looking so peaceful, and noticed that even in her tired and sick state, she looked absolutely stunning. He inhaled deeply and let out a shaky sigh when he realized that his feelings might be a bit more complex than he thought.

-/-

As usual, Killian couldn’t find sleep. He tossed and turn around on his bed until he laid on his back and let out an exasperated sigh. She was invading his thoughts. Ever since the guys had mentionned to him that he seemed to have this thing for her, he couldn’t stop to think of her.It started slowly, casually questionning himself about it, and pushing the absurd thought out of his mind. But after that night where she was sick, it had struck that the idea wasn’t absurd, it was actually true. He had feelings for her, and he didn’t want to.

He didn’t want to because he was scared of all the possible outcomes. If they were to date and didn’t work out, it would ruin their friendship and he couldn’t let that happen, she was too important to him to ruin what they had with romance. And that was only if her feelings were mutual. If he told her he had feelings for her and shot him down, there would be this awkwardness between them and he couldn’t bare to have their relationship tainted that way.

Wanting to forget about those recurrent thoughts, Killian decided to get out of the apartment and go drink and maybe find a girl to distract him of the blonde at home. And that is exactly what he did. He had spotted a beautiful brunette who kept glancing at him flirtatiously. It didn’t take long to have her in his arms after a couple of pints and shots, and for her, Milah, to ask him if he wanted to go somewhere else. They entered his pitch black apartment, the scent of Emma’s hair hanging in the air.

She must have taken a shower before going to bed.

Filled with images of Emma standing under the shower, washing her long blond tresses under the hot stream, her skin glistening after washing her body, was enough to make him aroused. They didn’t even managed to make two steps inside that Killian grabbed the brunette, and bumping on the shoe rack as he pushed her on the wall, his lips demanding hers. Milah moaned as he thrust his hips forward, his lips trailing down her neck, nipping at the flesh under her jaw as his hands caressed her thighs. He managed to lead her towards his room after getting her off on the wall with his fingers only, and ended up spending the night in his room, exploring his bed.

Milah fell asleep after a couple of rounds and Killian stayed wide awake as usual. He really tried to forget her that night but he was half successful. If he wanted to forget what he felt towards he may need to invest himself with another woman the way he was with Emma. Maybe that could help.

And that’s what he did the following morning when Milah woke up. Instead of having the girl leave the moment they woke up, he invited her to eat breakfast. When he arrived in the kitchen it was empty as well as the other common rooms of the apartment. He didn’t know why but he had expected his roommate being in at least one of those rooms.

He made a pot of coffee and made them some eggs and bacon while he asked Milah about herself, which seemed to make her smile. They talked throughout their breakfast and he learned that she was actually a dog walker. Suddenly, he saw her eyes shift from him to behind him, and he turned around to find Emma standing at the entrance of the kitchen. His heart leaped when he saw her, beautiful as always even when she had just woken up.

"Hey, Emma. I didn’t hear you come in." He told her as she avoided to look at him or her.

"Hey, yeah well I just got up." She went towards the pantry and took out her cocoa mix and make her famous hot chocolate. Milah tried to capt his attention by talking of some of the dogs she walked, while Emma clearly was trying to erase herself from the room as she avoided talking and looking at any of them.

He tried to seem interested on what the brunette was talking about, he was a dog lover and he loved hearing about them, but right now all the thoughts that invaded his mind were about Emma. He saw from the corner of his eyes that she trying to prepare her things quickly and before he had the time to turn around and finally invite her to sit, she was gone.

He felt his stomach twist at the situation. It was the first time he let another girl, a girl he picked up at the bar, have priority on her. And it pained him to do so, but then he reminded himself why he asked that girl to stay over. He needs to distance himself a bit from Emma if he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship with his growing feelings.

-/-

A week passed by and he was still seeing Milah. She was sweet, nice and a very adventurous women in lots of aspect of her life. He always liked strong women, with fire in them, so he guessed that it was good that she possessed that fire that he found attractive, but he quick realize that she wasn’t Emma.

He had finally convinced her to stay over his place for a quiet night in, and he took advantage of the fact that Emma was going over Tink’s for her monthly girl’s night, so he had the apartment all to himself. They were both sitting on the couch, and Killian had decided to call themselves a pizza. He was scrolling down the movie menu on the television, trying to find a movie to watch for them. Milah was sitting next to him with a bored expression, not at all motivated for the night he had set for them.

They finally settled on watching an action movie and soon after it started, there was a knock on their door signaling them that the deliver guy had their pizza. He quickly paid the man and gave him a good tip, and went back to sit on the couch as he dropped the box on the coffee table. He opened the box and took himself a slice and took a good bite out of it. His eyes were fixed on the TV as he devoured his food, and went in for a second slice when he noticed Milah who hadn’t really moved, didn’t even touched the food and had a look of disgust on her face. He looked at her questioningly as he deposited his slice back.

“Are you not hungry?”

“I am, but not for this junk. Do you really expect me to eat unhealthy food?” She asked him, the disgust still very visible on her face as she pointed at the food on the table.

“Well, from all the unhealthy food out there, pizza would be the most healthy. There are vegetables in it.” He responded to her as he grabbed his slice and sunk his teeth in.

“Ugh, really? Look, Killian, this is boring. Let’s do something else, let’s go downtown and go to a restaurant and then go dancing. It’ll be more fun than this.” He finished chewing his food and sighed heavily as he put down his food again, and slumped back on the couch.

“Honestly, no. I just want a quiet night in.” He looked at her and waited for her answer. She closed her eyes, and exhaled loudly before she got up.

“Well, I’m going out. See you tomorrow.” She walked over the door, put on her shoes and left.

KIllian looked at the empty space beside him, and wished more than ever to have his best friend next to him.

-/-

He had realized quickly that forgetting his feelings for Emma was useless, not matter how hard he tried with Milah. He had taken the decision on ending things with her that night, when he was going to go over her place.

In the meantime, he was laying down on his couch, with the Playstation controller in his hands as he played God of War. Emma’s bedroom door creaked and he heard the heel of her shoes hitting the hardwood floor. He turned around to look at her, and his mouth fell open as he took in what she was wearing.

A black fitted leather dress, the hem of it stopping almost at the top of her thighs, nude coloring pantyhose and a pair of very high black heels, defining the lines of her long legs. He noticed that she felt observed and saw her shift uncomfortably as a worried look came across her face.

"What?"

Her question bringing him back to reality, he closed his mouth and managed to reply to her somewhat clearly.

"I…uh…you look amazing." He stammered as he inwardly facepalm himself. Smooth Jones, real smooth.

She smiled at him, quite relieved and waltzed by him in direction of the kitchen. He watched her go, and shook his head to bring himself back to reality, and felt himself following her, wondering why she was dress that way.

"Do you mind telling me what’s the occasion?" He asked as he went to stand next to her, and leaned his back on the counter, his eyes fixed on her.

"I have a date." She replied as if it was the most normal thing. Which it was, but it wasn’t what he was expecting. Those words felt like a punch in the gut, and he clenched his jaw as he digested the news. He looked up and fixed his eyes on hers.

"I didn’t know you were seeing someone." She held his gaze for a moment before she turned her head around and focused on grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

"I’m not. It’s just a date. Regina set me up with a friend of her sister’s." Killian felt his body relax at the news. It wasn’t serious, she was just being set up in a blind date. He had dealt with a a couple of guys she had dated, but none of them worthy of her. He wasn’t thinking that because he had realized the feelings he had for her, but because they actually weren’t worthy.

"You seem… relieved?” She looked at him intrigued, as she was trying to figure him out.

“I, uh, no. I mean, I found it a bit odd that if you were seeing someone, I should know.” He replied a bit panicked, as he tried to look calm.

“Should?”

"Well, yes. I am your confidant, your best friend. You always tell me about these things."

"That doesn’t mean I have to. It’s my life and I reserve the right to keep things from you.” She answered him as she raised her voice, clearly mad with his comment. She was right, but he couldn’t help himself.

He was about to apologize when the door knocked. Emma cast him a stern look before heading towards the door. She opened and greeted her date with a big smile. He leaned himself on the doorframe, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at them intently, not able to tear his eyes off the scene. She glanced a quick look at him before heading out with the tall brunet.

Killian stayed in place for a couple of minutes after Emma left to her date, fixating the spot where she stood last. He clenched his jaw as he let the latest event seep into his mind, and decided to do something to forget about it. Emma was not interested in him, and won’t ever be. It was time to let go. He walked over to his room, got changed and went over at Milah’ to do what he did best concerning his love life. No strings attached.

-/-

Killian cursed to himself when Emma had told him that she was bringing Walsh to the engagement party. He knows he shouldn’t be annoyed by that since he was also bringing Milah, but he couldn’t help himself. Since her date with him, she had been seeing him every once and awhile and despite all his efforts to try and forget about his feelings for her he couldn’t. And it confused him to no end, making him angrier towards himself.

The car ride was a bit tense and awkward, as the four of them headed towards Regina’s and Robin’s. He was in no mood to go over there, and frankly was in a sour mood for the past couple of days. When Milah starting talking to Walsh, he rolled his eyes seeing that he was getting attention.

Of course he had to make a comment when he mentioned that he worked with monkeys at the zoo, it was way too easy. Emma cast him a look that if it could kill, it would. He knew she hated when he teased the guys she was seeing, even if she never actually said it, her looks were enough to express that feeling.

Emma made him know that she was pissed for the rest of the cab ride as she ignored him, and continued as they got out of the car and walked over the house. Milah didn’t leave his side and followed him as he went to congratulate his recently engaged friend. The moment she left his side to visit the restroom, Robin leaned over and spoke loud enough so he only could hear.

“So how are things with Emma?” Killian let out an annoyed sigh as he took a sip of his beer.

“Uncomfortable. I…I can’t seem to get her out of my mind, and these feelings are bloody confusing.” Robin let out a small laugh at his comment, his hand going to squeeze his shoulder.

“It might not have this lifetime friendship with Regina, but I know that feeling. Realizing that you have feelings for someone that you always saw platonically is quite unsettling. Stop fighting it, and despite that your girlfriend may  be nice, get rid of her and embrace those feelings for Emma.”

“Even if I do, she may not feel the same for me.” Killian justified.

“What did you do with the Killian I know? Where is that confidence that you exude when you go out and flirt with a girl? Lay those charms on Emma, you may be surprise.” Robin tapped him on his back, and told him to think about it before leaving his side, Milah taking his place.

Killian went a grabbed himself another beer, and another after that. He kept thinking about what Robin had told him but at the same time couldn’t bring himself to follow his advice, the alcohol in his system exacerbating his jealousy. He saw Emma and Walsh at the other side of the room, and decided to go over there. Walsh was talking about one of his monkeys, and he couldn’t pass on the occasion on making a comment. Just as he was about to, Emma grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him into the guest room, where all the coats were.

She closed the door firmly and turned around in one swift movement, making her hair whirl around her, the scent of it reaching him. She had that mad look on her face, her hand on her hips making her a bit intimidating.

"What the hell is your problem?" She blurted out, clearly mad.

"I don’t have a problem. Do you?" He couldn’t help himself to reply to her in a smugly manner

"Yes! You, assface! You’re acting like a jerk!” She exclaimed.

“Me? On the contrary, I’m being very pleasant.” He added completely unphased. He knew he was getting on her nerves but didn’t care. He lifted his beer to his lips and was about to take a sip when suddenly a hand grabbed it off his hands.

"Hey!" He blurted out this time.

"You are a being an asshole. Seriously, ‘monkey boy?’"

"Oh come on, Emma, you have to admit that it’s funny. Where is your sense of humor?" Killian said as he laughed.

"It’s not funny. You always do this.”

"Do what?"

"Make teasing comments on the guys I’m seeing. It’s not funny, and frankly, it’s condescending. Don’t you want me to be happy?" His face dropped when he realised that he had hurt her. He thought that he was just pushing her buttons a bit but his intention was never to hurt her. Guilt took over him as he looked down before gathering the courage to look at her.

"Of course I do. You’re happiness is one of the most important things to me." Her eyes were fixed on his, and saw the vulnerability that was written behind them.

"Then why do you act that way?" She asked him softly. He swallowed hard as he decided to tell her a part of the truth.

"Because, those guys don’t deserve you. They can’t make you happy the way you should be."

"What do you know about what I need?" He felt the need to be near her, and closed the space between them, his hand instantly resting on her shoulders.

"Emma, I know you better than you know yourself. You need a man that can cherish you as if you were the most precious thing that exists, as if your the light and air that they need to live. Someone who can challenge you to be the best version of yourself. And those men can’t handle you."

He saw her trying to intake what he had finally wanted to tell her all this time. He felt his heart increase it’s pace, and felt as if it was going to burst. He looked down at her lips, and he wanted to kiss her so badly, to tell her how much he loved, that he could make her happy, that he would do anything for her.

Killian was about to do at least one of those things, when Ruby stumbled in and ruined the moment. Emma used the occasion to flee the room. His shoulders slumped as he realized that he had just missed his chance. For now at least.

-/-

Emma have been avoiding him ever since the party. He hated it but couldn’t blame her. He had been acting like jerk and moron from the moment he had realized he loved her. After she had left with Walsh, he had decided to end things with Milah. It was no use to keep fooling himself, and he couldn’t shake this feeling that if Ruby hadn’t interrupted them, they might’ve kissed, that is feelings may not be one-sided.

He was hanging out in the apartment in his sweats, and was asking himself what he was going to do that evening. He heard a loud crash outside the door, followed by a very colorful curse coming out from his roommate mouth. Worried that she might have hurt herself he went to open the door and saw the entire content of her grocery bag laying on the floor, the brown bag completely teared up in her hands.

After he made sure she was okay, he insisted on helping gather the food. She was hanging behind him as they went to put the food in the kitchen, and went back to take the rest off her hands, their skin brushing as he relieved her from her load. His body went still as he felt the jolt pass through him. He regained quickly his senses and told her to go change as he took care of her things. He saw the frozen pizza amongst her groceries and decided to preheat the oven knowing that she had bought that for her supper.

She entered the kitchen after he had put the food in the oven. She seemed to have had a rough day, and he went to grab her beer. They sipped in silence before Killian decided to break the awkwardness between them, and told her that she was avoiding him. He apologized for his behaviour and both managed to fix things between them. He actually felt bad when Emma told him that she had always kept her mouth shut over the girls he brought and stayed over. He always thought that it didn’t bothered her, but apparently it did and he was too involved in his things to notice.

They managed to get passed that and actually went back into their usual routine, which made him happy. He had missed those moments with her, and more than ever knew that he had to cherish any moments spent with her.

Halfway throughout the movie, he felt Emma beside him shiver, and instinctively wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He inhaled that soothing scent that emanated from her, the one he liked so much. He felt her relax in his arms, as she let herself be warmed by him. He turned his head and looked down at her, entranced by her. She must have felt his eyes on her, and turned her head around to ask him if he was okay. His eyes roamed her face taking in every little detail about her, awed by her beauty, and noticed her skin going red as she blushed under his gaze. His eyes settled on her lips, and he wanted to kiss her so badly. He had wanted for so long now, and when her eyes settled on his, he leaned in and kissed her.

Finally.

It was the first and last word that entered his mind, as he then let himself guide by his emotions. The kiss grew more and more passionate and he pushed her on her back softly until she was laying beneath him, as he settled himself between her legs. It was better that he had ever imagined, and better than any kiss or passionate night spent with any random girl. This was Emma, the most amazing woman he knew, and he finally got to taste her touch. He felt himself grow hard as he heard the mewling sounds coming out of her mouth. He rolled his hips on her center wanting a bit more, and she moaned loudly, the sound almost making him lose control. His hand trailed down her stomach, and under her sweatpants, his fingers tracing the lenght of her folds, feeling her arousal at the tip of his fingers.

Emma pushed him back suddenly, and quickly got up from the couch and walked as fast as she could over to her room.

“Emma! Wait!” He got up and followed her, wanting to know why she was running away from this.

“Wait!” He grabbed her wrist and spun her around.

“I’m sorry Killian. That was a mistake.” He saw tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, seeing her pained hurt him more that he could possibly bare.

“Are you sure? It doesn’t feel like it to me.” He told her out of breath, trying to make her see what they could be.

“It is. You’re dating Milah, and I’m dating Walsh. If we do this I would only be an addition to the endless list of girls you’ve slept with. I just can’t.” At that comment he felt this twinge of pain on his heart, sad that she saw him that way. Didn’t she see that she could never be that to him? Before he could tell her anything she locked herself up in her room. Knowing that there was no use on pushing her in that state and let her be.

He sat in front of her room, his head leaning back until it hit softly the door. He fixed an empty space in front of him, as he listened to her cry until she eventually fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovelies!! So here is the last part to this story! I really want to say thank you to all of you who read this story that was supposed to be three parts only and that I honestly thought nobody would read, and that I wrote because I wanted to write it too much. I hope you like the ending to this, and this chapter is RATED M, for mature content (smut)
> 
> Thanks to Nicki ( oncertwice )for her usual enthusiasm for this story and chapter.
> 
> Read and enjoy!

Her limbs felt heavy and numb. She didn’t remember falling asleep or anything, the only thing that she remembered was Killian on top of her, his lips on hers as he kissed her fervently as if she was the air he needed to breathe.

 

He gave her the impression that she actually meant something more to him, maybe she did. She wanted more than anything to let herself succumb to his touch, especially when his fingers were teasing her that way, to finally find out how he was in bed, if he was as good as he seemed to look. That’s when she remembered Milah, and the endless list of girls that had shared his bed. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be another woman he bedded to add to his list, even though she knew he didn’t have such a list, but still.

 

She then remembered that she was also seeing someone. Even if she wasn’t in love with him, she did kind of like him, and couldn’t let herself to betray the affection he had for her. She fell asleep crying while thinking about all of this mess, her feelings for Killian, how he felt above her, and the wrecked look he cast her when she told him it was a mistake, and the hurt when she told him she couldn’t be just another of his conquest.

 

Emma managed to sit at the edge of her bed and actually wondered if she could spent the rest of her life barricaded in her bedroom. She rubbed her eyes that had swollen with all of her late night crying, and sighed heavily before gaining the courage to walk out of her room, and hopefully she wouldn’t bump into him. She adjusted her robe as she venture herself in the apartment and went to the bathroom. The cold water on her face managed to wake her up a bit and make her ready to face the day ahead of her. She had the day off and had planned on spending the day at home doing nothing but with the recent developments in her personal life, she now wanted to spend her day far away from here.

 

The plan was to grab something quick to eat, change clothes and find somewhere, anywhere, to spend the day. Her feet stopped when she entered the kitchen and saw Killian at the counter, preparing something. He turned his head around when he heard her come in and she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who didn’t manage to sleep last night. She felt herself blush as his eyes settled on her and turned around to go back to her room.

 

“Emma wait!” He told her the moment she turned around. His voice was vulnerable and tired. “You can’t keep avoiding me. Sooner or later we’ll have to talk about this.” He was right, she couldn’t keep running away from him, even though the urge was very strong. She bit her lower lip anxiously and turned around to face him. He look a bit relieved seeing that she was still there.

 

They both stood there a bit awkwardly while Emma tried to avoid his gaze. Killian cleared his throat and closed the space between them, making her more and more nervous. Her heart was already beating at a fast pace and it increased making her cheeks flush when he took her hands in his. She managed to lift her eyes, and locking it with his.

 

“I know that last night you freaked out with what happened and think it’s a mistake and …”

 

“It was.” She refuted as she cut him out.

 

“Do you regret what happened?” She gulped as she saw the way he was looking it her. She wanted to say no, but couldn’t let him know, afraid of being hurt. She was about to reply, but this time he was the one to interrupt her.

 

“I don’t. I don’t regret it all. You are the most important person in my life. I have been blind and I have been acting like a complete jerk with you lately, and that is because I had come to realize how much I love you.” Killian paused, waiting for her to react. Emma huffed as she looked away from him, trying to lessen the impact of his words.

 

“I know you love me, Killian, you’ve always told me, and I love you too. But that’s it. You love me like a friend, like  family .” Her brows furrowed when she saw him shake his head.

 

“It’s more than that. You know it’s more than that.  I am in love you .” His face was now inches from hers, his eyes reflecting the love he was professing to her. She searched his eyes wanting to know if it was true, convinced that it was only a dream.

 

“But… what about Milah?” She breathed out.

 

“A mere distraction. I was trying to forget those feelings I have for you, afraid of what they may do to our friendship. But I realized, I don’t care as long as I have you in my life.”

 

Emma felt tears tingling in her eyes, overwhelmed by his confession. She let out a small laugh as her hands went to cup his cheeks, her forehead resting on his. She felt his body relax, letting out a sigh of relief. His hands went to circle her waist, bringing her chest closer to his. She tilted her head a bit, their lips seeking the other.

 

The kiss started slow as they both tried to convince themselves that it was happening. Killian gained more and more confidence as the kiss grew passionate, and pushed Emma’s back on the nearest wall. Her hands moved from his cheeks to the nape of his neck, fingers running through his thick dark brown hair.

 

Killian’s hands went to work on the sash of her robe, revealing her clothed body underneath it. His hands went to circle her waist once again, but this time under her camisole wanting to feel her skin. She moaned when she felt his body press on hers, his strong hands caressing her bare back. It all felt so right, as if they were always meant to do this. It all flowed easily, naturally, the intensity and pace of their kiss, the way they moved together. And they were only making out, she could not wait to see how it would be in bed. Probably amazing she thought.

 

They broke the kiss after a while, both panting and in need of air. His nose brushed hers, while his hand caressed her cheek. She smiled at the tender touch, and still couldn’t believe that she was in Killian arms. Not that that she had never been in his arms, giving each other hugs and staying in that position was something very recurrent for them. But  this, this was a whole other level of affectionate gesture. Her hands caressed his neck as she pushed them down to his strong shoulders. Killian leaned forward for another kiss, but Emma stopped him with a gentle touch of her hands on his chest.

 

“Wait” She whispered into his neck. His glance went to hers, apprehension on his face. She couldn’t blame after the way she acted the previous night and again earlier.

 

“Don’t you want this?” He managed to ask anxiously.

 

“I do. I really do, it’s just that I’m still Walsh and you Milah. It’s just wrong to do this if we are still seeing other people.”

 

“Well, I already broke things off with Milah.” He timidly confessed. Emma looked at him surprised, wondering how and when. The question must have been written all over her face since his cheeks went red and told her what happened.

 

“After Regina and Robin’s engagement party. I realized after our discussion there, that I couldn’t deny my feelings for you anymore. So I decided to end it.” She smiled hearing him say that. So she wasn’t crazy, they did share a moment that night.

 

Emma looked up at him with a shy smile, his eyes fixed on hers. She couldn’t believe that all this time he had a thing for her, that they both were too blinded by their own fears and insecurities, making them distance themselves from each other. Their lips sought each other for a tender kiss that lasted a moment before they released the grasp they had on the other.

Her hands were lying flat on his chest while his were still resting on her hips under her robe.

 

“If you don’t mind, I need to talk to Walsh before anything happens. Okay?” She saw Killian cringe at the mention of the other man in her life, and she couldn’t blame, since that’s what she probably looked like every time somebody mentioned his now ex-girlfriend. He nodded pensively at her question, earning a small from her. She cupped his cheeks and raised herself on the tip of her toes and gave him a quick little peck on his lips.

 

“I won’t be too long. I’ll be back in a bit.” Emma reassured him as she went to her room and went to get dressed so she could go see Walsh.

 

-/-

 

After she had left to see him, Killian wandered around the apartment with a huge grin. He still couldn’t believe what had happened, that Emma and him might actually stand a chance on being together, share more than just the amazing friendship that they already have. He then got a bit nervous thinking about when Emma will come back. What would they do? It was still a uncertain and new territory for them. He now knew she liked him more than a friend but wasn’t sure on how he should act with her.

 

Half an hour later he received a text from her telling him that she’ll be back for supper. Apparently Tink had contacted her and told her that they should meet this afternoon so they could talk about their bridesmaid task. He now had all afternoon to decide what to do when se would come back. His eyes widened when an idea struck him, and went to his room in haste and got himself dressed before leaving the apartment to get the things he needed.

 

-/-

 

The sun had settled down, now the streets only lit by the moonlight and lamppost. It had taken her more time than she expected to get her affairs in order. She initially went over at Walsh to end things with him, the conversation going down surprisingly well. He had told her that he suspected that there might be something between her and Killian and not to worry about him. They were only casually dating.

 

She left his place feeling a bit lighter, her stomach filled with butterflies as she thought of Killian waiting for her at their apartment. She wouldn’t deny that she was anxious about whatever was between them. They were both crossing that barrier that would change things forever, either for the better or the worst. She was confident enough in their friendship that it would be for the best, but she couldn’t help to have that twinge of fear that it could end badly.

 

Before she could ponder on that matter too much, she received a text from Tink asking her to meet her and the girls as soon as possible that afternoon to make a list of their ask as bridesmaids. That is how she spent the rest of the afternoon, with the girls in a coffee house talking about Regina’s upcoming wedding. It wasn’t that she didn’t like her friends, but with the recent development with her roommate, the only thing she wanted was to go back to her place and explore that new ground a bit further.

 

Her friends noticed that she was distracted, and eventually ended up asking her what was on her mind, making her spill the beans on the very recent new romantic relationship in her life. They bombarded her with questions to which she didn’t knew the answer but could only be hopful on a positive and happy outcome. The girls eventually had exhausted all the possible question they could ask her (for now) and after a couple of cups of cocoa she finally walked over to her place.

 

Emma’s stomach was suddenly filled with butterflies, the newness of letting her feelings for him run freely overwhelming her a bit. She stood in front of her apartment door for a bit, trying to gather some of her senses and cool, letting out a shaky breath as she took out her keys and unlocked the door. The moment she entered the apartment, she heard some rock music coming out from the kitchen mixed with Killian’s voice singing along with the song that was playing, and the scent of food being cooked making it’s way to her nose. She took off her coat and boots and walked over to the room where Killian was. She saw him grating some cheese, his head moving up and down at the rythym of the music as he sang.

 

Emma leaned over the doorframe, watching him continue his show completely oblivious of her presence. She smiled watching him and all she could think about right now was that she loved him, she really did. Killian then tried to sing a high note, trying to match the singers voice, but failed miserably which made her laugh. He lifted his head up and saw her, his face instantly going red.

 

“I didn’t hear you come in.” He told her, putting down the block of cheese on the counter and went to lower the volume of the music.

 

She walked over the counter, and grab the cheese and resumed his task. He walked over to stand next to her, and she could feel herself tense up at his closeness, wondering what the hell to do or not to do. They had kissed this morning, very passionately might she add, but it still wasn’t all that clear what  this was.

 

Should she give him a quick peck on the cheek or on the lips? Or not?

 

She glimpsed at him stanting next to her, and saw the same battle in his eyes and in the way he was holding himself. He meet her eyes, and they both started to laugh, due to the awkwardness and giddiness of this new step in their relationship. The laughter made hem both release some of the tension they were carrying, making them both a bit more relaxed.

 

“I, uh…” Killian trailed off, the tip of his fingers scratching the back of his ear. “This is awkward.” He finally said, Emma nodding to his comment.

 

“It is. I mean, this is all new to us.” Killian hummed and took a deep breath before asking her the question she felt he had been dying to ask her.

 

“How did things go with Walsh?” She knew he tried too look nonchalant, but she could see the eagerness in his eyes to know what happened.

 

“Good. It went very smoothly.” She told him reassuringly, her hand going to caress his that was resting on the counter. His eyes looked at their hands joint together and then locked his gaze with hers.

 

“So, it’s over?” He asked her a bit more confidently and started to close the space between them. She felt her body warm up more and more, anticipation coiling inside her.

 

“Yeah.” She breathed out, followed by a ‘good’ on his part and then his lips were on hers.

 

Emma let go of the piece of food she was holding, and turned around so she could face him properly. Her hands went curl behind his neck and tilted her head to the side wanting to deepen the kiss. Killian groaned when she did, his hands going to caress the curve of her backside, before squeezing it, making her yelp in surprise. A deep chuckle came out from his mouth as he lifted her up on the kitchen counter.

 

He settled himself between her legs, and she instantly wrapped her legs around him pulling him closer to her center. She felt the bulge in his pants getting bigger and press itself on her, the sensation making her wanting for more. She leaned her head backwards while she arched back, granting him access to her neck and pushing her breasts forward. He groaned as he saw her exposing herself as such to him, his lips not wasting time to latch to the skin under her jaw. His hand went to graze her shoulder, slowly going down until he cupped one of her breasts. Emma moaned as he started fondle her nipple through the material of her shirt.

 

“Bed?” She panted as he continued kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin of her neck.

 

“Yours or mine?” He replied his voice laced with lust. He rolled his hips towards her center, the action making her moan.

 

“Mine...it’s closer.” She managed to say between the whimpers that left her mouth. She is taken by surprise when he lifts her up again and walks over to her room, his lips never leaving her skin. She tightens the grip of her legs around him, and of her hands around his neck.

 

The walk to her room is a bit awkward, Killian bumping on some furniture and almost making her fall down. He manages to bring her to her bed without injury, Emma crawling near her bedpost, his lustful eyes following her every move. Not used on having him look at her like that, she feels her cheeks warming up even more that they already were.

Killian crawls over her body, his lips and hands trying to tough every inch of her body, making her lose her mind with all the attention he was giving her. And they haven't even started doing anything and they were still fully clothed. She felt her heat clench at the thought of when things will actually start to heat up.

 

He must have read her mind, or that's what she thought, because moment later he was tugging her shirt up, his mouth on her laced covered breast, biting on her nipple. She arched her back, her nails scratching his scalp as he continued teasing her.

 

Killian pushed his hips into the mattress trying to relieve some of the tension that had built down there as he trailed his mouth lower and lower until he peppered the skin under her navel. His fingers went to work on the buttons of her jeans before pushing them down with her panties.

 

He straightened himself as he tossed her pants across the room, his eyes taking in the sight before him. Emma felt suddenly very self-conscious, realizing that Killian, her best friend, was now looking at her naked body (well, except for her chest, but still). There was no turning back now. That was for sure.

 

"It's not fair. You're still fully clothed." Emma pouted teasingly while he cast her a lopsided grin.

 

"I'm all yours." He told her as he raised his arms in surrender. Emma raised her body up so she could reach the hem of his shirt, and grazed the skin of his stomach as she got rid of his Nirvana shirt. She felt him shiver under her touch, his breathing getting heavier, just like hers.

 

They were both on their knees, her hands exploring his bare chest. She had seen his chest covered with his dark hair countless times, and but never looked directly at his chest, knowing that it would do things to her, and was not ready to deal with all these emotions at the time. Now she did, and she could not wait to feel his hot skin on hers. Her fingers caressed his skin with a feather light touch, exploring his pecs, feeling his abs and following the trail that led under his straining pants. She looked up at him, her eyes seeking his permission. His lips were parted, his blue eyes pouring so much intensity that it made her hands tremble as she unbuckled his belt.

 

He swallowed hard when she started unbuttoning his pants, pushing them down until his cock sprang free, a sigh of relief leaving his lips when she curled her hand around him. Emma’s eyes were fixed on him, watching how his thick eyebrows furrowed, his eyes closing and mouth parting as she increased the pace of her hand on him.

 

“Emma, you need to stop.” He begged her as his hips started to push forward into her hand. “It won’t last long if you keep doing this.” His hand went to her back, unhooking her bra. She released him as she slid the strap of her bra down her arm.

 

“I thought that you had more stamina than that.” She teased him, before capturing his lips in a hungry kiss, sliding her tongue between his parted lips. He gripped one hand on her hips, until her skin turned white under his fingers, the other tangling itself in her hair. He broke the kiss and laid his hands on her shoulders.

 

“Lay down.” His voice commanding and hoarse, sent a shiver down her spine as he placed his head between her parted legs. “You’ll regret saying that I have no stamina Swan.” He leaned over, kissing her slit tenderly, before darting his tongue out and licking the length of her folds. The small touch made her eyes roll, and she seriously wondered how she’ll get through it without completely losing control.

 

Hands on his hair to keep him in place, she squirmed her body and legs as he continued to pleasure her with his tongue. She felt his fingers nudging her entrance, his tongue now swirling around her clit and sucking on the nub, as he thrust two fingers inside her. Emma grabbed her pillow and bit on it to muffle an embarrassingly loud moan, as he curled his fingers perfectly and stimulating the very sensitive spot inside her.

 

“It’s just you and me here, let me hear you.” He said in a low, husky voice while his fingers kept the maddening pace that was making her reach quickly her release. Her body shot forward when he added his thumb on her bundle of nerve, drawing small circles, the action making her tumble over the edge.

 

Killian straightened himself and got rid of the rest of his pants as he watched her come down from her orgasm, her breast moving as she panted, a sheen of sweat making her skin glow. He felt his cock twitch seeing her like that, her eyelids heavy, her emerald eyes black with lust, and her golden hair falling down her back.

 

She quickly regained her senses and pulled him in for a kiss, tasting herself on him and pushed him down, and told him to sit, his back to her headboard. Emma straddled his lap, and started to sway her heat over his length teasing him.

 

“Do you always use protection?” She asked him between kisses.

“Aye, always.” Her hand went to grab his shaft and pumped him a bit before lining his member. She kissed once more, whispering ‘good’ before she sunk herself on him, earning them both a loud moan.

 

“Fuck. You feel  so good.” She breathed out, a bit shakily, her hands on his shoulders as she pulled herself up a bit before pushing down. Killian’s hands were resting on her hips to steady her while she continued to riding him.

 

“Oh, Emma. Just like that, don’t stop.” He whimpered, his head hitting her headboard. He pushed his hips upwards when she pushed down, hitting that spot again. They both moved together, crashing their lips together in a forceful kiss muffling the sounds of their pleasure.

 

Killian’s arms went around her, hugging her tightly their chest pressed together, his lips trailing down her neck. Emma sensed he was getting closer and pulled his head up with both her hands, wanting to see him fall apart under her. She moved her hand between them, her fingers rubbing that sensible spot above where they were joined. His hips stilled as he came inside her, a groan escaping his lips as he did so. She followed him seconds later, her forehead resting on his. They kissed each other languidly, Emma still not moving away from his lap, enjoying the afterglow of their coupling.

 

They finally untangled themselves, Killian taking the box of tissue that was on her end table and took some in his hands before giving them to Emma. When they finished cleaning themselves, they laid back on her bed, her head resting on his chest, his hand caressing her shoulder.

 

“So, I think it’s safe to say that we are now officially more than friends.” Emma said a bit awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say after having sex with your childhood friend, and roommate.

 

“That we are.” He chuckled, making her raise her head a bit so she could look at him.

 

“Are we really doing this? Me and you?” She asked him, still not believing fully that that’s where they were now. In a romantic relationship, Killian her best friend, the man that slept around with a different girl every night, a man who claim to love her more than she thought she could possibly be loved.

 

“Only if you want to. I love you, Emma Swan. I always have and always will. My heart is yours and only yours.” Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes as she heard him say those words. She leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips.

 

“I love you too.” He smiled widely at her, clearly happy hearing her express her feelings for him.

 

They managed to leave the comfort and warmth of her bed, and Killian managed to finish making the mac and cheese he had planned on making her for supper, which they unexpectedly skipped for something else. The rest of the night went by as they usually did, tucked under a blanket watching a movie together. The only difference being that a few items of clothes were missing (if there were any), and their hands ventured into flirtatious touches under the covers all throughout the evening and late into the night.

 

The next morning, Emma woke up late, feeling sore in all the right places. She looked around and saw her bed empty, and wondered where Killian might be. She wondered if he did as he usually did with the girls he brought home: watching TV or playing a video game. She was about to get out of her bed when he suddenly appeared at her door with a tray in hands. Rubbing her still sleepy eyes, she realized that her boyfriend (she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get used to saying it, but she thinks she might) was bringing her breakfast in bed, the tray filled with all of her favourite things.

 

Killian pecked a kiss on her cheek and settled himself next to her. She really thought she could get used to having her best friend as her boyfriend, especially if he greeted her like this.


End file.
